The Paradox of Change - There has to be an I before We!
Welcome to The Paradox of Change, where three experienced therapists guide you through the essential truth:
I B4We - You have to have a relationship with yourself before you can have a relationship with others!
We believe in understanding your needs, boundaries, and capacity for connection - because the most important relationship you'll ever have is the one with yourself.
Meet Your Guides:
Elliot Burgess - Individual therapist specializing in men's mental health and the foundational "I" work that transforms all relationships
Lottie Passell-Syms - Sex and intimacy specialist dedicated to couples therapy, helping partners navigate the "We" journey through deeper connection and authentic communication and better sex.
Fi Sclif - Individual therapy and growth coaching focusing on mindset, money, and marketing
What You'll Discover:
• How self-discovery leads to relationship mastery
• Lottie's proven couples therapy techniques for rebuilding intimacy and trust
• Practical tools for infidelity recovery, trauma healing, and authentic communication
• Insights into masculinity, femininity, and identity development
• Strategies for navigating divorce, dating after trauma, and co-parenting
• Real conversations about narcissistic abuse recovery and neurodiversity in relationships
Our Philosophy:
Inspired by Carl Rogers' wisdom: "When a client accepts themselves as they are, the curious paradox is that they then change." Whether you're working on yourself individually or as a couple, transformation starts within - heal your relationship with yourself, and watch every other relationship in your life flourish.
Content You Can Expect:
• Deep-dive conversations with mental health experts
• Individual growth episodes ("The I Series") with Elliot, Fi & Lottie
• Couples-focused content ("The We Series") with Lottie's expertise
• "I B4We Deep Dives" - All three tackling complex topics together
• Real stories of resilience and recovery
• Practical tools you can use immediately
Whether you're single and working on yourself, in a relationship needing guidance, or navigating life transitions, we're here as your collaborative guides, not distant experts, but fellow travelers who've walked these paths.
New episodes every two weeks “|” 26+ episodes available now!
Subscribe and join our community of people choosing accountability and growth!
https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
The Paradox of Change - There has to be an I before We!
Can you separate with dignity? Here's how
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
We explore the nuanced process of conscious uncoupling, HOW TO LET GO respectfully, intentionally, and with growth at the core. Drawing from therapeutic insights, we uncover how deep self-awareness, empathy, and healthy boundaries transform separation into an opportunity for healing and new beginnings.
Key topics:
The limits of connection based on individual inner work
Recognising and bridging the gap during relationship disconnection
The importance of accountability, vulnerability, and safety
Steps for a healthy, conscious separation that honors all involved
The role of family, society, and self in navigating endings
About Our Guest:
Lottie Passell-Syms is a psychosexual and relationship therapist qualified in CBT and hypnotherapy. She specialises in relationship difficulties, stress, anxiety, intimacy and infidelity recovery, helping couples navigate the most challenging aspects of their partnerships.
In this episode:
How human connection is limited by personal shadow work (0:00)
The dynamic of awareness gaps and power in relationships (1:16)
How growth creates an irreversible spotlight on the partner's stuck points (2:44)
The significance of external interests and shared aliveness (3:16)
The process when couples realise repair is impossible and need to part (4:19)
Managing resentment and projection through self-responsibility (5:34)
The importance of feelings and discomfort in growth, like a lobster shedding its shell (8:54)
How vulnerability and safety underpin conscious uncoupling (14:09)
Examples of respectful, conscious separation that maintains dignity and family ties (16:23)
The significance of preemptive planning for children and mutual respect (27:09)
Allowing space for grief, self-growth, and new love (33:05)
The power of choice in shifting from resentment to love (40:01)
🔗 Follow us on:
🎙️ The Paradox of Change Podcast: https://theparadoxofchange.buzzsprout...
📲 Instagram: / theparadoxofchange
📺 Linktree: https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
📢 If you've experienced infidelity or are working through trust issues, let us know your thoughts in the comments! ⬇️
https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
💔 why did my boyfriend cheat on me?
💔 why did my girlfriend cheat on me?
💔 why did my partner cheat on me?
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How to find us: https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
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