The Paradox of Change - There has to be an I before We!
Welcome to The Paradox of Change, where three experienced therapists guide you through the essential truth:
I B4We - You have to have a relationship with yourself before you can have a relationship with others!
We believe in understanding your needs, boundaries, and capacity for connection - because the most important relationship you'll ever have is the one with yourself.
Meet Your Guides:
Elliot Burgess - Individual therapist specializing in men's mental health and the foundational "I" work that transforms all relationships
Lottie Passell-Syms - Sex and intimacy specialist dedicated to couples therapy, helping partners navigate the "We" journey through deeper connection and authentic communication and better sex.
Fi Sclif - Individual therapy and growth coaching focusing on mindset, money, and marketing
What You'll Discover:
â¢â â How self-discovery leads to relationship mastery
â¢â â Lottie's proven couples therapy techniques for rebuilding intimacy and trust
â¢â â Practical tools for infidelity recovery, trauma healing, and authentic communication
â¢â â Insights into masculinity, femininity, and identity development
â¢â â Strategies for navigating divorce, dating after trauma, and co-parenting
â¢â â Real conversations about narcissistic abuse recovery and neurodiversity in relationships
Our Philosophy:
Inspired by Carl Rogers' wisdom: "When a client accepts themselves as they are, the curious paradox is that they then change." Whether you're working on yourself individually or as a couple, transformation starts within - heal your relationship with yourself, and watch every other relationship in your life flourish.
Content You Can Expect:
â¢â â Deep-dive conversations with mental health experts
â¢â â Individual growth episodes ("The I Series") with Elliot, Fi & Lottie
â¢â â Couples-focused content ("The We Series") with Lottie's expertise
â¢â â "I B4We Deep Dives" - All three tackling complex topics together
â¢â â Real stories of resilience and recovery
â¢â â Practical tools you can use immediately
Whether you're single and working on yourself, in a relationship needing guidance, or navigating life transitions, we're here as your collaborative guides, not distant experts, but fellow travelers who've walked these paths.
New episodes every two weeks â|â 26+ episodes available now!
Subscribe and join our community of people choosing accountability and growth!
https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
The Paradox of Change - There has to be an I before We!
The BIGGEST Misconceptions About Open Relationships
Lottie Passell-Syms and Natalie Wanner explore the complexities of OPEN relationships, communication, and intimacy. They discuss the impact of past trauma on current relationships, the dynamics of low desire, and the importance of accountability and radical acceptance in navigating intimacy. You may like this episode https://youtu.be/AC08xbGuadU
The conversation emphasises the need for open dialogue about the intimate act and intimacy, the challenges of celibacy, and the significance of understanding one's own needs and desires within a relationship. They also touch on the evolving definitions of marriage and the necessity of intimacy for growth in any relationship. In this conversation, Lottie Passell-Syms and Natalie explore the complexities of relationships, particularly focusing on open relationships, boundaries, communication, and the importance of maintaining individuality. They discuss the significance of the intimate actin sustaining connection, the impact of trauma, and the necessity of curiosity over blame in communication. The dialogue emphasizes the need for clear boundaries, the role of self-identity, and the importance of seeking intervention when necessary. Ultimately, they advocate for a relationship design that allows for personal growth and mutual support.
Takeaways
Open relationships can provide new perspectives on intimacy.
Miscommunication is a major barrier in relationships.
Understanding past trauma is crucial for healthy intimacy.
Low desire often stems from a lack of effort in relationships.
The intimate act should not be a taboo topic in relationships.
Radical acceptance can help individuals cope with celibacy.
Natalies Links
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@nataliewanner5196/videos
- Natalies Book: Crazy in the inside: https://www.amazon.com/Crazy-Inside-Memoir-Nobody-Special/dp/1701860201
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/reel/1425685391886010
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/discover/natalie-wanner-openmarried
- IG: https://www.instagram.com/nataliewanner_/?hl=en
POC Links: https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
Chapters
00:00 Building a YouTube Presence
01:14 Natalie's Background and Open Marriage
05:16 Communication in Relationships
10:07 Desire and Effort in Relationships
14:46 Navigating intimate Health and Boundaries
19:43 Radical Acceptance and Personal Responsibility
23:52 Navigating Intimacy and Compassion in Relationships
25:50 The Importance of Liking Your Partner
27:52 Redefining Marriage: Compatibility vs. Alignment
30:19 Open Relationships: Contracts and Communication
32:20 The Role of Family in Marriage Dynamics
33:58 Boundaries and Transparency in Non-Monogamous Relationships
36:04 Creating a Relationship by Design
38:04 The Impact of COVID on Relationship Dynamics
40:11 Reigniting Passion and Intimacy
45:03 The Role of intimacy in Sustaining Connection
49:37 Rediscovering Individual Identity in Relationships
50:25 Questioning Life Choices
51:31 Community and Collective Growth
52:45 Self-Discovery and Personal Growth
54:48 Navigating Relationships and Support
57:08 Addressing Intimacy Issues
58:21 Communication and Trust in Relationships
01:00:38 The Impact of Comfort on Relationships
Get vidIQ to grow your channel faster! ð
https://vidiq.com/TheParadoxofChan
ð² Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparadoxofchange/
ðº Linktree: https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
How to find us: https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
Podcasts we love
Check out these other fine podcasts recommended by us, not an algorithm.
