The Paradox of Change - There has to be an I before We!
Welcome to The Paradox of Change, where three experienced therapists guide you through the essential truth:
I B4We - You have to have a relationship with yourself before you can have a relationship with others!
We believe in understanding your needs, boundaries, and capacity for connection - because the most important relationship you'll ever have is the one with yourself.
Meet Your Guides:
Elliot Burgess - Individual therapist specializing in men's mental health and the foundational "I" work that transforms all relationships
Lottie Passell-Syms - Sex and intimacy specialist dedicated to couples therapy, helping partners navigate the "We" journey through deeper connection and authentic communication and better sex.
Fi Sclif - Individual therapy and growth coaching focusing on mindset, money, and marketing
What You'll Discover:
• How self-discovery leads to relationship mastery
• Lottie's proven couples therapy techniques for rebuilding intimacy and trust
• Practical tools for infidelity recovery, trauma healing, and authentic communication
• Insights into masculinity, femininity, and identity development
• Strategies for navigating divorce, dating after trauma, and co-parenting
• Real conversations about narcissistic abuse recovery and neurodiversity in relationships
Our Philosophy:
Inspired by Carl Rogers' wisdom: "When a client accepts themselves as they are, the curious paradox is that they then change." Whether you're working on yourself individually or as a couple, transformation starts within - heal your relationship with yourself, and watch every other relationship in your life flourish.
Content You Can Expect:
• Deep-dive conversations with mental health experts
• Individual growth episodes ("The I Series") with Elliot, Fi & Lottie
• Couples-focused content ("The We Series") with Lottie's expertise
• "I B4We Deep Dives" - All three tackling complex topics together
• Real stories of resilience and recovery
• Practical tools you can use immediately
Whether you're single and working on yourself, in a relationship needing guidance, or navigating life transitions, we're here as your collaborative guides, not distant experts, but fellow travelers who've walked these paths.
New episodes every two weeks “|” 26+ episodes available now!
Subscribe and join our community of people choosing accountability and growth!
https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
The Paradox of Change - There has to be an I before We!
The One Thing That Predicts Relationship Success
The secret to lasting love isn't about finding the perfect partner or mastering communication techniques. There's one fundamental question that predicts whether your relationship will thrive or fail: "Can I be me with you?" If you are searching for relationship repair or relationship advice, this might be the show for you.
In this deep-dive conversation, Elliot and Lottie explore the core elements that determine relationship success, from emotional safety and vulnerability to the crucial role of boundaries and self-awareness.
Key Takeaways:
• Why emotional safety is the foundation of all healthy relationships
• How childhood experiences shape your adult relationship patterns
• The difference between defensiveness and healthy boundaries
• Why "I like you" might be more powerful than "I love you"
• How to recognise when you're reacting from past trauma vs. present reality
Timestamps:
00:00 Understanding Triggers in Relationships
02:46 The Importance of Emotional Connection
05:28 Navigating Vulnerability and Safety
08:23 Identifying Negative Patterns and Accountability
11:10 The Role of Childhood in Adult Relationships
13:54 The Impact of Boundaries on Relationships
16:44 The Balance of Individuality and Togetherness
19:33 The Significance of Time and Friendship
22:11 The Power of 'Like' in Relationships
25:03 Recognizing Past Influences on Present Relationships
27:46 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Healing
30:28 The Dynamics of People-Pleasing and Assertiveness
33:24 The Complexity of Relationship Expectations
36:04 Summarizing Key Takeaways for Relationship Success
💡 Featured Concepts:
• The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (Gottman)
• Window of Tolerance (Babette Rothschild)
• I Before We Philosophy
• Family of Origin Work
Perfect for:
• Couples seeking deeper emotional connection
• Individuals preparing for healthy relationships
• Anyone struggling with boundaries and people-pleasing
• Those recognising patterns from childhood in their relationships
In this engaging storytime, we explore the power of effective communication. Learn practical communication skills and discover how to talk to people with confidence. Improve your english conversation and master how to start a conversation, making every interaction more meaningful.
Filmed in Winchester, Southampton in the UK!
Released on the day that we saw Protests in Southampton and if you like
Psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel, we might be the show for you...
Follow us on:
The Paradox of Change Podcast: https://theparadoxofchange.buzzsprout...
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparadoxofchange/
Linktree: https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
If you've experienced infidelity or are working through trust issues, let us know your thoughts in the comments! ⬇️
https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
💔 why did my boyfriend cheat on me?
💔 why did my girlfriend cheat on me?
💔 why did my partner cheat on me?
💔 why is partner not having sex with me?
How to find us: https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
