The Relationship Podcast - There has to be an I before We!
Welcome to The Paradox of Change, where three experienced therapists guide you through the essential truth:
I B4We - You have to have a relationship with yourself before you can have a relationship with others!
We believe in understanding your needs, boundaries, and capacity for connection - because the most important relationship you'll ever have is the one with yourself.
Meet Your Guides:
Elliot Burgess - Individual therapist specializing in men's mental health and the foundational "I" work that transforms all relationships
Lottie Passell-Syms - Sex and intimacy specialist dedicated to couples therapy, helping partners navigate the "We" journey through deeper connection and authentic communication and better sex.
Fi Sclif - Individual therapy and growth coaching focusing on mindset, money, and marketing
What You'll Discover:
• How self-discovery leads to relationship mastery
• Lottie's proven couples therapy techniques for rebuilding intimacy and trust
• Practical tools for infidelity recovery, trauma healing, and authentic communication
• Insights into masculinity, femininity, and identity development
• Strategies for navigating divorce, dating after trauma, and co-parenting
• Real conversations about narcissistic abuse recovery and neurodiversity in relationships
Our Philosophy:
Inspired by Carl Rogers' wisdom: "When a client accepts themselves as they are, the curious paradox is that they then change." Whether you're working on yourself individually or as a couple, transformation starts within - heal your relationship with yourself, and watch every other relationship in your life flourish.
Content You Can Expect:
• Deep-dive conversations with mental health experts
• Individual growth episodes ("The I Series") with Elliot, Fi & Lottie
• Couples-focused content ("The We Series") with Lottie's expertise
• "I B4We Deep Dives" - All three tackling complex topics together
• Real stories of resilience and recovery
• Practical tools you can use immediately
Whether you're single and working on yourself, in a relationship needing guidance, or navigating life transitions, we're here as your collaborative guides, not distant experts, but fellow travelers who've walked these paths.
New episodes every two weeks “|” 26+ episodes available now!
Subscribe and join our community of people choosing accountability and growth!
https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
The Relationship Podcast - There has to be an I before We!
Military Anxiety: From Crippling Dread to Helping Others Heal
Former Royal Navy Lieutenant Commander Jamie Leaper shares his powerful journey from military service to becoming a therapist - and why being part of the 20% of male counsellors is changing how men engage with mental health.
In this honest conversation, Jamie discusses:
• The reality of military-to-civilian transition anxiety
• Why the "veteran" label can be harmful
• How injury recovery challenged his perspective on heroism
• Why men are finally engaging with therapy
• The importance of authentic, unapologetic therapeutic relationships
Jamie discuss’s the challenges of transitioning from military life to civilian life, the impact of personal injury on their identity, and the importance of empathy in therapeutic relationships, and also critiques the hero narrative often associated with recovery, emphasising that not every story is a heroic one and that many individuals struggle with their own unique challenges. Ultimately, they advocate for understanding and supporting those who may not fit the traditional hero mold.
Takeaways
Anxiety can be a crippling experience that affects daily life.
Transitioning from military to civilian life can be challenging and identity-shifting.
Counselling can be a powerful way to help others navigate their struggles.
Personal injury can lead to a reevaluation of one's identity and capabilities.
The hero narrative can create unrealistic expectations for recovery.
Empathy is crucial in building therapeutic relationships.
Not every recovery story is a heroic one; many are mundane yet significant.
Understanding one's own anxiety can enhance the ability to help others.
The importance of psychoeducation in therapy cannot be overstated.
It's essential to meet clients where they are, without judgment.
Chapters
00:00 Understanding Anxiety and Its Impact
05:53 The Veteran Identity and Its Misconceptions
11:55 Transitioning from Military to Counseling
17:52 The Role of Psychoeducation in Therapy
23:55 Navigating Male Perspectives in Counseling
30:11 The Relationship Between Anxiety and Neurodiversity
36:11 Building Trust Through Authenticity
39:59 Navigating Personal Challenges in Therapy
45:10 The Impact of Injury on Identity
51:27 Understanding Recovery and Individual Journeys
56:00 The Physiology of Anxiety and Coping Mechanisms
01:03:19 Challenging the Hero Narrative in Recovery
If you want to get in touch with Jamie, click the link to his website: If you want to get in touch with Jamie our guest today, click the link: https://www.calmercounselling.life/
Other recommendations, search for Super Fast Morning Anxiety Relief Routine! Dr. Mandell
Recent News Headlines
- Justin Bieber is currently in the spotlight (as of 4 days ago) for prioritizing his mental health while focusing on being present for his family, including wife Hailey and their son Jack.
- Luke Combs made news in March 2025 when he opened up about experiencing "one of the most intense anxiety flare-ups in years" due to his rare mental condition - purely obsessional OCD.
- Billie Eilish has been featured prominently in 2025 discussions about how fame led to depression and suicidal ideation.
Ongoing Mental Health Advocates
The search shows several celebrities who continue to be vocal about anxiety:
Long-term advocates include:
- Emma Stone - has spoken about panic attacks and anxiety since childhood
- Ryan Reynolds - describes lifelong struggles with anxiety
- Selena Gomez - continues to be open about anxiety and depression
- Adele - known for discussing stage fright and social anxiety
- Zayn Malik - has been vocal about social anxiety affecting his career
🔗 Follow us on:
🎙️ The Paradox of Change Podcast: https://theparado
How to find us: https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
