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The Relationship Podcast - There has to be an I before We!
Welcome to The Paradox of Change, where three experienced therapists guide you through the essential truth:
I B4We - You have to have a relationship with yourself before you can have a relationship with others!
We believe in understanding your needs, boundaries, and capacity for connection - because the most important relationship you'll ever have is the one with yourself.
Meet Your Guides:
Elliot Burgess - Individual therapist specializing in men's mental health and the foundational "I" work that transforms all relationships
Lottie Passell-Syms - Sex and intimacy specialist dedicated to couples therapy, helping partners navigate the "We" journey through deeper connection and authentic communication and better sex.
Fi Sclif - Individual therapy and growth coaching focusing on mindset, money, and marketing
What You'll Discover:
â¢â â How self-discovery leads to relationship mastery
â¢â â Lottie's proven couples therapy techniques for rebuilding intimacy and trust
â¢â â Practical tools for infidelity recovery, trauma healing, and authentic communication
â¢â â Insights into masculinity, femininity, and identity development
â¢â â Strategies for navigating divorce, dating after trauma, and co-parenting
â¢â â Real conversations about narcissistic abuse recovery and neurodiversity in relationships
Our Philosophy:
Inspired by Carl Rogers' wisdom: "When a client accepts themselves as they are, the curious paradox is that they then change." Whether you're working on yourself individually or as a couple, transformation starts within - heal your relationship with yourself, and watch every other relationship in your life flourish.
Content You Can Expect:
â¢â â Deep-dive conversations with mental health experts
â¢â â Individual growth episodes ("The I Series") with Elliot, Fi & Lottie
â¢â â Couples-focused content ("The We Series") with Lottie's expertise
â¢â â "I B4We Deep Dives" - All three tackling complex topics together
â¢â â Real stories of resilience and recovery
â¢â â Practical tools you can use immediately
Whether you're single and working on yourself, in a relationship needing guidance, or navigating life transitions, we're here as your collaborative guides, not distant experts, but fellow travelers who've walked these paths.
New episodes every two weeks â|â 26+ episodes available now!
Subscribe and join our community of people choosing accountability and growth!
https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
The Relationship Podcast - There has to be an I before We!
Communication and Dating and what to learn
Expert Advice On Intimacy, Sex & Relationships. We discuss everything from dating, to love bombing vs limerence to conscious uncoupling. You may like 'Do Happy People Cheat?': https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gh-qO5lQg5U
A conversation with sex and intimacy specialist Lottie Passell-Syms, hosted by mental health podcast creators James Penny and Sam Bell:
Sam and James our the brains behind "Flex Your Feelings" and this episode reveals hidden truths about modern dating advice and relationship healing in 2025.
This therapist and coach workshop-style conversation combines professional insights with playful, actionable wisdom for relationship maintenance.
Flex Your Feelings
A mental health and wellness podcast hosted by James Penny, an 'almost sane' therapist specialising in child mental health, and Sam Bell, a 'former, all-round insecure idiot' on his own entrepreneurial journey. We take deep dives into important subjects while staying irreverently surface level, ensuring to connect with your inner child along the way. Our show embraces acceptance of others regardless of sexual orientation, focusing on seeking support and personal transformation.
In this episode, we welcome intimacy and relationship specialist Lottie Passell-Syms. We discuss the importance of communication in relationships, the changing landscape of dating, and the need for empathy and connection. Lottie shares insights from her twenty years of experience in the field, emphasizing the significance of understanding each other's needs and expectations. This episode provides valuable insights into fostering healthier relationships and understanding individual needs.Chapters
Pull up a chair, settle in, and 'flex your feelings'.
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/flex-your-feelings/id1738814183
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Introduction
00:53 Understanding Intimacy
03:09 Modern Dating Landscape
05:58 Communication Essentials
11:49 Expectations & Needs
18:11 Empathy & Connection
24:01 Power Dynamics
35:22 Generational Perspectives
43:33 Childhood Scripts
49:11 Sexual Communication
55:12 Anticipation & Play
1:01:32 Breaking Taboos
1:05:53 Limerence vs Love
1:17:20 Conscious Uncoupling
1:23:22 Relationship Maintenance
1:29:00 Healing After Breakups
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ð KEY INSIGHTS:
- Why modern relationships need more than just attraction
- How to maintain intimacy in long-term partnerships
- Breaking free from childhood relationship patterns
- The truth about love bombing vs. limerence
- Practical tools for better communication
ð¯ CONNECT WITH US:
Website: https://theparadoxofchange.buzzsprout.com
Instagram: @theparadoxofchange
Twitter: @ParadoxofChange
ð§ WORK WITH LOTTIE:
Website: lottie4salesims.com
Location: Otterbourne, Hampshire
#RelationshipAdvice #IntimacyTips #CouplesTherapy #ModernDating #MentalHealth #SexualWellness #RelationshipGoals #PersonalGrowth #FlexYourFeelings #ParadoxOfChange
https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
How to find us: https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
