The Relationship Podcast - There has to be an I before We!
Welcome to The Paradox of Change, where three experienced therapists guide you through the essential truth:
I B4We - You have to have a relationship with yourself before you can have a relationship with others!
We believe in understanding your needs, boundaries, and capacity for connection - because the most important relationship you'll ever have is the one with yourself.
Meet Your Guides:
Elliot Burgess - Individual therapist specializing in men's mental health and the foundational "I" work that transforms all relationships
Lottie Passell-Syms - Sex and intimacy specialist dedicated to couples therapy, helping partners navigate the "We" journey through deeper connection and authentic communication and better sex.
Fi Sclif - Individual therapy and growth coaching focusing on mindset, money, and marketing
What You'll Discover:
• How self-discovery leads to relationship mastery
• Lottie's proven couples therapy techniques for rebuilding intimacy and trust
• Practical tools for infidelity recovery, trauma healing, and authentic communication
• Insights into masculinity, femininity, and identity development
• Strategies for navigating divorce, dating after trauma, and co-parenting
• Real conversations about narcissistic abuse recovery and neurodiversity in relationships
Our Philosophy:
Inspired by Carl Rogers' wisdom: "When a client accepts themselves as they are, the curious paradox is that they then change." Whether you're working on yourself individually or as a couple, transformation starts within - heal your relationship with yourself, and watch every other relationship in your life flourish.
Content You Can Expect:
• Deep-dive conversations with mental health experts
• Individual growth episodes ("The I Series") with Elliot, Fi & Lottie
• Couples-focused content ("The We Series") with Lottie's expertise
• "I B4We Deep Dives" - All three tackling complex topics together
• Real stories of resilience and recovery
• Practical tools you can use immediately
Whether you're single and working on yourself, in a relationship needing guidance, or navigating life transitions, we're here as your collaborative guides, not distant experts, but fellow travelers who've walked these paths.
New episodes every two weeks “|” 26+ episodes available now!
Subscribe and join our community of people choosing accountability and growth!
https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
The Relationship Podcast - There has to be an I before We!
Infidelity - The Many Faces of Affairs
📢 Episode 21: The Truth About Infidelity, Affairs, & Healing Relationships
💔 Why do people cheat? How does limerence (obsessive attraction) impact relationships? Can couples repair trust after an affair? In this episode of The Paradox of Change, Elliot Burgess explores infidelity, emotional affairs, attachment theory, and the complex emotions of betrayal.
🔎 Topics Covered:
✅ Types of Affairs: Emotional, Physical, Financial, & Online Affairs
✅ Attachment Theory & Infidelity: How Childhood Influences Relationship Choices
✅ Limerence & The Science of Attraction: Why Some Affairs Feel Addictive
✅ Healing After Cheating: Steps to Rebuild Trust & Navigate Forgiveness
✅ The Role of Transparency & Boundaries in Preventing Affairs
✅ Gottman’s Four Horsemen of Relationship Breakdown & How to Fix It
🎧 Listen to the full episode & subscribe for more deep conversations on relationships, psychology, and change.
Additional Help:
Esther Perel:
"Rethinking Infidelity: A Talk for Anyone Who Has Ever Loved" (TED Talk):
In this insightful talk, Esther Perel explores the complexities of infidelity, discussing why people cheat and how couples can navigate the aftermath.
Watch the TED Talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2AUat93a8Q
"Infidelity: Why I Wrote a Book About America's Most Controversial Topic":
Perel discusses the ubiquity of infidelity and the importance of addressing it openly.
Read the Article: https://www.estherperel.com/blog/infidelity-why-i-wrote-a-book-about-americas-most-controversial-topic
John Gottman:
"The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling":
Gottman identifies four detrimental communication behaviors that can predict the end of a relationship and offers insights into recognizing and addressing them.
Read the Article: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/
"The Four Horsemen: The Antidotes":
This piece provides strategies to counteract the Four Horsemen behaviors, promoting healthier communication patterns in relationships.
Read the Article: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-the-antidotes/
These resources offer profound insights into understanding and improving relationship dynamics, particularly concerning infidelity and communication challenges.
📌 Timestamps:
00:00 Understanding Infidelity: A Complex Topic
02:52 Physical vs Emotional Affairs: What’s the Difference?
05:59 Limerence: The Science of Obsessive Love & Affairs
09:02 Types of Infidelity: Beyond the Obvious Signs
12:06 The Role of Remorse in Repairing Relationships
14:51 Why Too Many Details About an Affair Can Be Harmful
18:02 How Affairs Begin: The Cup of Tea Syndrome
21:13 Online Affairs & The New Challenges in Modern Relationships
23:48 The Importance of Intimacy in Relationship Repair
26:51 Vulnerability & Communication: The Key to Preventing Affairs
31:48 Navigating the Emotional Pain & Grief Cycle of Infidelity
37:25 Forgiveness & Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal
40:54 The Role of Transparency & Boundaries in Relationships
45:27 Can Relationships Grow After Infidelity?
🔗 Follow us on:
🎙️ The Paradox of Change Podcast: https://theparadoxofchange.buzzsprout.com
📲 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparadoxofchange/
📺 Linktree: https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
📢 If you’ve experienced infidelity or are working through trust issues, let us know your thoughts in the comments! ⬇️
https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
💔 why did my boyfriend cheat on me?
💔 why did my girlfriend cheat on me?
💔 why did my partner cheat on me?
How to find us: https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
