The Relationship Podcast - There has to be an I before We!
Welcome to The Paradox of Change, where three experienced therapists guide you through the essential truth:
I B4We - You have to have a relationship with yourself before you can have a relationship with others!
We believe in understanding your needs, boundaries, and capacity for connection - because the most important relationship you'll ever have is the one with yourself.
Meet Your Guides:
Elliot Burgess - Individual therapist specializing in men's mental health and the foundational "I" work that transforms all relationships
Lottie Passell-Syms - Sex and intimacy specialist dedicated to couples therapy, helping partners navigate the "We" journey through deeper connection and authentic communication and better sex.
Fi Sclif - Individual therapy and growth coaching focusing on mindset, money, and marketing
What You'll Discover:
• How self-discovery leads to relationship mastery
• Lottie's proven couples therapy techniques for rebuilding intimacy and trust
• Practical tools for infidelity recovery, trauma healing, and authentic communication
• Insights into masculinity, femininity, and identity development
• Strategies for navigating divorce, dating after trauma, and co-parenting
• Real conversations about narcissistic abuse recovery and neurodiversity in relationships
Our Philosophy:
Inspired by Carl Rogers' wisdom: "When a client accepts themselves as they are, the curious paradox is that they then change." Whether you're working on yourself individually or as a couple, transformation starts within - heal your relationship with yourself, and watch every other relationship in your life flourish.
Content You Can Expect:
• Deep-dive conversations with mental health experts
• Individual growth episodes ("The I Series") with Elliot, Fi & Lottie
• Couples-focused content ("The We Series") with Lottie's expertise
• "I B4We Deep Dives" - All three tackling complex topics together
• Real stories of resilience and recovery
• Practical tools you can use immediately
Whether you're single and working on yourself, in a relationship needing guidance, or navigating life transitions, we're here as your collaborative guides, not distant experts, but fellow travelers who've walked these paths.
New episodes every two weeks “|” 26+ episodes available now!
Subscribe and join our community of people choosing accountability and growth!
https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
The Relationship Podcast - There has to be an I before We!
Surviving Christmas and New Year
This week Elliot and Geri explore the emotional challenges many face during the Christmas and New Year holidays, particularly focusing on grief, family dynamics, and the increase in domestic violence.
The discussion highlights coping strategies, the importance of support systems, and the need for self-care during this time. It emphasises the significance of reaching out for help and finding ways to connect with others, even amidst personal struggles. In this conversation, Elliot Burgess discusses the complexities of family dynamics during the holiday season, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries, practicing empathy, and investing quality time with loved ones. He highlights the challenges posed by social media and the need for mindfulness in interactions, particularly when navigating difficult family relationships. The discussion also touches on the significance of creating a peaceful environment and the importance of self-care during this often stressful time of year.
takeaways
If you can't set a boundary, think about self-care.
Grief is a significant issue during the holidays.
Family dynamics can create additional stress.
Domestic violence often increases during the festive period.
It's important to recognise the signs of distress in others.
Coping strategies include reaching out for help.
Self-care is crucial during emotionally charged times.
Celebrating lost loved ones can be a way to cope with grief.
Giving back can provide a sense of purpose.
Connection with others can help alleviate feelings of loneliness. I try not to compare myself to others.
Let them, if they're giving a hard time.
Setting boundaries can be challenging during the holidays.
It's important to rise above conflicts.
We need to have healthy conversations without conflict.
Everyone is trying to do their best, even if it doesn't seem that way.
Social media can negatively impact family gatherings.
Investing in quality time with children is crucial.
Creating a peaceful environment is essential for mental health.
It's okay to choose not to be around certain family members.
Get in touch with:
* Geri here: https://gericarey.com/
* the POC team https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
Sound Bites
"Guilt around the gifts."
"It's about setting boundaries."
"I'm enough."
"Let them."
"It's about boundaries."
"Pick your battles."
"It's a tough time of year."
"It's just a meal, it'll pass."
"Investing in peace."
"It's about doing enough."
Chapters
00:00
Navigating Holiday Challenges
09:58
Coping with Grief During the Holidays
19:51
Support Systems and Resources for Domestic Violence
29:49
Finding Connection and Purpose During Difficult Times
28:28
Navigating Family Dynamics
32:34
Empathy and Understanding in Family Interactions
35:32
The Impact of Social Media on Family Gatherings
37:57
Investing in Quality Time with Children
40:52
Creating a Peaceful Holiday Environment
44:59
How to find us: https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
