The Paradox of Change (inspiring people to talk)
"Welcome to 'The Paradox of Change' - where we explore the fascinating journey of personal transformation through authentic conversations about mental health, relationships, and self-discovery.
Our show brings together therapists, mental health practitioners, and real people sharing their stories of growth and resilience. Hosted by Elliot Burgess, Fi Sclif, and Lottie Passell-Syms, we dive deep into topics ranging from couples therapy to personal development, making complex psychological concepts accessible and relatable.
What makes us unique? We believe in the paradox that true change begins with self-acceptance. Each episode combines professional insights with genuine, sometimes humorous, always honest discussions about mental health challenges and solutions.
Whether you're a mental health professional, someone on their own healing journey, or simply curious about personal growth, you'll find value in our conversations. We cover everything from relationship dynamics and professional development to practical therapeutic techniques and real-life transformation stories.
Join our growing community of listeners who are embracing their own paradoxes and discovering that sometimes, the best way forward is to first accept where you are.
New episodes release regularly, featuring expert guests, thought-provoking discussions, and actionable insights for your personal growth journey.
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https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
The Paradox of Change (inspiring people to talk)
CONFLICT is growth trying to happen. Lets talk about defensiveness Episode #016
Summary
Elliot and Lottie delve into the complexities of relationships, focusing on defensiveness, communication, and the impact of generational trauma. They explore the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse as identified by John Gottman, discussing how defensiveness, stonewalling, criticism, and contempt can undermine relationships. The conversation emphasises the importance of empathy, vulnerability, and effective communication in fostering healthy connections. They also touch on the significance of understanding one's own emotional needs and the dynamics of intimacy in relationships.
Takeaways
Defensiveness often arises from fear of blame or shame.
Stonewalling is a response to feeling overwhelmed.
Criticism can stem from a parental mindset in relationships.
Generational trauma influences current relationship dynamics.
Conflict can be a sign of growth in a relationship.
Effective communication requires both speaking and listening.
Empathy is crucial for understanding partner's feelings.
Intimacy involves vulnerability and trust.
Men often seek respect to feel loved in relationships.
Emotional intelligence is essential for healthy relationships.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to the Podcast
00:59 Understanding Defensiveness in Relationships
06:07 The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
11:51 Exploring Generational Trauma
17:57 Conflict as Growth in Relationships
24:04 The Importance of Communication and Empathy
29:54 Intimacy and Vulnerability in Relationships
Get in Touch:
Lottie and couples Work: https://www.lottiepassellsyms.com/
Elliot: https://elliotburgess.co.uk/
How to find us: https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
