The Relationship Podcast - There has to be an I before We!
Welcome to The Paradox of Change, where three experienced therapists guide you through the essential truth:
I B4We - You have to have a relationship with yourself before you can have a relationship with others!
We believe in understanding your needs, boundaries, and capacity for connection - because the most important relationship you'll ever have is the one with yourself.
Meet Your Guides:
Elliot Burgess - Individual therapist specializing in men's mental health and the foundational "I" work that transforms all relationships
Lottie Passell-Syms - Sex and intimacy specialist dedicated to couples therapy, helping partners navigate the "We" journey through deeper connection and authentic communication and better sex.
Fi Sclif - Individual therapy and growth coaching focusing on mindset, money, and marketing
What You'll Discover:
• How self-discovery leads to relationship mastery
• Lottie's proven couples therapy techniques for rebuilding intimacy and trust
• Practical tools for infidelity recovery, trauma healing, and authentic communication
• Insights into masculinity, femininity, and identity development
• Strategies for navigating divorce, dating after trauma, and co-parenting
• Real conversations about narcissistic abuse recovery and neurodiversity in relationships
Our Philosophy:
Inspired by Carl Rogers' wisdom: "When a client accepts themselves as they are, the curious paradox is that they then change." Whether you're working on yourself individually or as a couple, transformation starts within - heal your relationship with yourself, and watch every other relationship in your life flourish.
Content You Can Expect:
• Deep-dive conversations with mental health experts
• Individual growth episodes ("The I Series") with Elliot, Fi & Lottie
• Couples-focused content ("The We Series") with Lottie's expertise
• "I B4We Deep Dives" - All three tackling complex topics together
• Real stories of resilience and recovery
• Practical tools you can use immediately
Whether you're single and working on yourself, in a relationship needing guidance, or navigating life transitions, we're here as your collaborative guides, not distant experts, but fellow travelers who've walked these paths.
New episodes every two weeks “|” 26+ episodes available now!
Subscribe and join our community of people choosing accountability and growth!
https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
The Relationship Podcast - There has to be an I before We!
Finding Hope in the Darkest Moments Episode
James shares his deep personal journey towards self-acceptance and love, defining love as unconditional acceptance of oneself and others.
Challenges and Growth: He delves into a crucial turning point where he struggled with self-rejection, leading him into a dark place, and how he emerged by reconnecting with his inner child.
Significant Insights:
* Emphasises the importance of embracing the inner child, symbolised by keeping a photo of his younger self on his phone as a daily reminder.
* Discusses the complexities of growing up feeling different due to his sexual orientation and being adopted, contributing to feelings of confusion and isolation.
* Reflects on the process of coming out as gay, battling societal expectations, and overcoming attachment fears and abandonment issues.
Professional and Personal Development:
James highlights his path from experiencing unrequited love and anxious attachments to learning how to truly embrace and receive love in a healthy relationship.
Philosophical Reflections:
The conversation covers the damaging influence of fairy tale narratives on real-life relationships, the necessity of questioning ingrained beliefs, and the role of values in shaping personal decisions.
Therapeutic Insights:
James underscores the transformative power of meditation, conscious breathwork, and tapping into the subconscious mind to foster a shift in perspective and enhance mental well-being.
This condensed summary captures the essence of James's narrative and the overarching themes discussed in the episode, aiming to resonate strongly with listeners seeking profound, relatable insights into personal growth and mental health.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Setting the Tone
05:13 James' Personal Journey
09:39 The Impact of Childhood Experiences
13:53 Identity Formation: Adoption and Sexual Orientation
23:20 Isolation and Loneliness: The Impact of Coming Out
27:11 Visceral Reactions and Love
27:39 Breakups and Breakthroughs
31:58 The Importance of Relational Development
36:03 Experiencing an Existential Crisis
42:31 The Influence of Fairy Tales and Societal Expectations
48:00 Aligning Values with Actions
52:23 The Power of Tools and Techniques
52:37 The Calling of a Therapist
55:49 Tools and Techniques for Personal Growth
56:48 The Power of Meditation and Breath Work
57:47 Reframing and Changing Perspectives
58:35 The Link Between Performance and Breath
01:00:52 Deep Questions from the Diary of a CEO Cards
01:02:51 Gratitude and Growth
01:03:57 Surviving and Growing
01:04:07 Technical Issues and Fun
01:04:09 Exploring New Techniques
01:05:14 Relaxation for Well-being
01:08:18 Connecting with Your Future Self
01:10:22 Living a Life Based on Love
01:14:44 Gratitude and Human Connections
01:16:30 Messages of Self-Worth and Encouragement
01:17:45 Finding Pure Contentment in Guided Meditation
01:19:38 A Message from the Future: You Are Worthy of Love
01:20:35 Ending on a Light-Hearted Note
How to find us: https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
